Note to my mother.....

Mom, as I sit here and think about my life. For one thing, I am happy that Gram has gone "home" as she was wishing for a long time. She is with the Lord and she is in peace. My only regret in this is that I wished I have had time to send her notes, letters and cards that I didn't do. I love Gram very much.

As reality sets in in my life, I have been embracing my own spiritual reality that I have learned the enemy of opportunity of my life has been "preoccupation" as I saw my life, my kids and Gram have taught me that I was too busy to notice any opportunities that God gave me. I am aware of the consequences that I have done and left undone. I have struggled and I have failed in some areas in my life that I am now suffering the consequences today. I wished I can go back and start all over but I know I can't. How many God's providences in my life that I failed to recognized in the past even though He lead me to where I am today? I have sowed my thoughts and reaped my actions; I have sowed my actions and reaped my habits; I have sowed my habits and reaped my character; I have sowed my character, The consequences I am facing will take some time to heal. I know that God is very concerned about my life and He is always ready for my future. The real issue that I have been learning recently is that the real hindrance to my spiritual progress is not fully submitting to the Holy Spirit. Nothing holy and genuine will be done in my life until my will is surrendered in active obedience to the Holy Spirit. I need to focus on my true being as a Christian so that I am not making efforts to persuade God to do "my will"; but rather to make myself submit to the Holy Spirit so that God can guide me according to "His will". God's providence is always that we shouldn't be surprised to find this a mysterious paradox of what happens around the world for His purpose. I say this because Christians cannot walk independently of the Holy Spirit that I know this because in my life, I have learned that no matter what happens, I know that everything God is doing in my life is for my good (Rom. 8:28).

I will pray for you for the times of sadness and at the same time, I will praise God for the time of celebration that Gram is "home" with the Lord. I want you to know that I love you and I am so grateful that you are my mother. I could not ask for a better mother. Please pray for me as God is putting through these sanctifications to make me a better man and a better Christian.

Love, Jim